Spiritual Experiences I will not be Discussing
I have a city in my head. I love buildings. I love looking at them. I like to see the lights of buildings through glass windows and people doing ordinary things. I love busyness. Only because I've experienced prolonged periods of isolation, which I continue to do so. I have found isolation to be a key tool to the transformation and evolution of the human experience. It enhances it. It relaxes and soothes sensitivity.
This piece symbolizes my exploration of consciousness and time throughout the semester. I've come to the realization that art is experience. Life is art because we experience it. This class has led me to experience art at a higher consciousness level, and this piece is a product of it. All my life experiences, hardships, relationships, and human experience into abstract art.
I want to live for this experience that I call life and show that through color, through paint, through emotion, and dance, time, time and fear. But can time be a friend? Yes.
I finally arrived to a destination. It was really hard getting here. Part of me visits the past and now I'm here. Dreams have manifested themselves into reality, therefore altering my perception of reality. I have had many strange spiritual experiences that I will not be discussing.
The destination I am referring to is the piece itself, of which I am finalizing as I write this. I would like to explore themes of time, connection, consciousness, and perception in the human experience. I need to admit that I have lost all sense of time in the recent months, but I know I have chosen to experience so.
A. Subconscious pathways B. Improvisation C. Scale collapses D. Patterns emerging accidentally or predictably E. My personal script. Trance.
Why does life feel like a big state of confusion sometimes, and things are just crumbling down for not a good enough reason?
The connections made in the painting are intuitive. I am consciously enjoying the simplicity of letting my hand turn the brush with the thickness of the permanent paint. Permanent silver paint. Intoxicating. An intoxicating city.
I have felt a lot of pain in my heart, mainly internal, but what a beautiful thing it is to find yourself during painful, painful moments. It is ecstasy.
In my young life, I have experienced a fair amount. I, however, have jumped just a few levels, up and also down. Near the low bottom. However, I don't know what to say if the bottom itself is limitless, just like the top.
Let's get back to the destination. I don't want to fear. That is the current thought and choice. I don't want to live like there's something, someone, or it chasing me. I'm tired, genuinely. Exhausted.
The imaginary burden of a too-seriously-taking structured life. I break a few rules, just like the necessary ones. The automatic shortcuts of a decade plus of street smarts.
The streets. Oh, sweet heaven, thank you for the roads. The pavement and concrete around the world. For the many cities that share the same material that is found in streets, in highways, the feeling of looking out the window from the car. I am grateful for having traveled.
I have arrived to A destination, I'm pretty sure. Not "The destination", in quotations.
Also, there is a mystical adventurous hat in the piece. I feel like it is taking life.
I no longer want life to feel like a wrestle. I am ready to believe. Belief makes things better. I choose to believe. I think I always have and that is why I'm here.
In tears. I'm conscious. The moon pulls. It's a path. But the moon is the moon always there? Remember when it is. I don't owe it anything.
I have shattered. Those are the fragments. Still a bit far from wholeness.
Is there such a space? A moment? Of wholeness? Yes. When one feels the closeness of God.
It's like you've longed for something you never knew you so desperately needed. Like the taste of a joyous tear.